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	<title>Comments on: Is this a strongly written professional resume? any feedback is fine?</title>
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	<description>Resume Writing Advice, Tips &#38; Career, Job Searches</description>
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		<title>By: PE2008</title>
		<link>http://www.resume-writing-advice.com/professional-resume-writing/is-this-a-strongly-written-professional-resume-any-feedback-is-fine/comment-page-1/#comment-4629</link>
		<dc:creator>PE2008</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 12 Feb 2010 20:32:59 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description>In a sense, your resume is too &quot;professional&quot; and self-serving. Mildly too much puffery. Jaded HR people see this kind of resume all the time. They learn to discount the actual wording. Look, for example, at the first paragraph:

&quot;Dedicated customer focused administrative professional offering significant experience in self-directed position requiring effective support, secretarial, and administrative abilities. Proven interpersonal, communications, and multi-tasking skills. Adaptable team player recognized for willingness to learn and teach newly acquired skills.&quot;

Is that really you, or is is a caricature of you?  Its (obviously) the kind of description a &quot;professional&quot; resume writer will use to justify his fee...&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;References : &lt;/b&gt;&lt;br&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In a sense, your resume is too &quot;professional&quot; and self-serving. Mildly too much puffery. Jaded HR people see this kind of resume all the time. They learn to discount the actual wording. Look, for example, at the first paragraph:</p>
<p>&quot;Dedicated customer focused administrative professional offering significant experience in self-directed position requiring effective support, secretarial, and administrative abilities. Proven interpersonal, communications, and multi-tasking skills. Adaptable team player recognized for willingness to learn and teach newly acquired skills.&quot;</p>
<p>Is that really you, or is is a caricature of you?  Its (obviously) the kind of description a &quot;professional&quot; resume writer will use to justify his fee&#8230;<br /><b>References : </b></p>
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		<title>By: CoachT</title>
		<link>http://www.resume-writing-advice.com/professional-resume-writing/is-this-a-strongly-written-professional-resume-any-feedback-is-fine/comment-page-1/#comment-4628</link>
		<dc:creator>CoachT</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 12 Feb 2010 19:43:59 +0000</pubDate>
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		<description>I see some minor grammatical things in here but overall it&#039;s pretty good if you&#039;re wanting a job as a medical office secretary or in administration in a hospital/mental health facility.

I&#039;d move the experience entries to the top so that they&#039;re highlighted.  I&#039;d also kill that &quot;3 years experience&quot; comment, you have 6 years total here fairly related to each other &quot;in health care settings&quot;.

Clarify that MS Office skill level with some validation.  MCAS certification might be a major advantage here.  Also clarify which levels of Red Cross certification - some employers in that setting will require CPR at the professional rescuer level or with AED.  Consider getting your CPR from AHA instead - it&#039;s the same material but many health folks lean toward that one.

Consider getting some training in computerized accounting systems such as QuickBooks or Peachtree - it could boost your computer skills section considerably.

I&#039;d drop the employee of the month references - if it were &quot;employee of the month for 24 consecutive months...&quot; that might help but with only a couple references, it&#039;s not helping at all.

You mention that Word, Excel, and Translation skill but don&#039;t show us in your experience where you&#039;ve used it.  Elaborate on that.  

Your specialization in the BA (write that as &quot;Bachelor of Arts in Psychology&quot; - no apostrophe there and no dash) doesn&#039;t really matter here unless you&#039;re applying for positions in client care, in that case your initial statement is wrong - it tells us you want to be an administrator.

Run this through spell-check and pay attention to where you&#039;ve put some commas - they don&#039;t all go where you have them.

It looks like you&#039;re leaning into a career that will go into health administration or will stagnate as &quot;administrative assistant&quot; or &quot;secretary&quot;.  You might want to look into going back to school for an MHA (Master of Health Administration) or an MBA.  If you don&#039;t have any supervisory experience (I don&#039;t see any mentioned here) then get some.

Add:  I don&#039;t agree that it looks like a professional resume writer wrote that - at least not a good one.  It has too many errors in it to be professional and doesn&#039;t include the expected template-based &quot;buzz words&quot;.  The most glaring indicator that a professional didn&#039;t write it is that the premises set forth in that paragraph are not supported in the body of the resume.  A secretary probably wrote this and not too bad of a secretary/admin asst.

HR people usually ignore that paragraph by the way - it&#039;s always BS that says little more than &quot;I&#039;d like a job please&quot;.  We jump straight into the meat of the resume and make our own conclusions.&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;References : &lt;/b&gt;&lt;br&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I see some minor grammatical things in here but overall it&#8217;s pretty good if you&#8217;re wanting a job as a medical office secretary or in administration in a hospital/mental health facility.</p>
<p>I&#8217;d move the experience entries to the top so that they&#8217;re highlighted.  I&#8217;d also kill that &quot;3 years experience&quot; comment, you have 6 years total here fairly related to each other &quot;in health care settings&quot;.</p>
<p>Clarify that MS Office skill level with some validation.  MCAS certification might be a major advantage here.  Also clarify which levels of Red Cross certification &#8211; some employers in that setting will require CPR at the professional rescuer level or with AED.  Consider getting your CPR from AHA instead &#8211; it&#8217;s the same material but many health folks lean toward that one.</p>
<p>Consider getting some training in computerized accounting systems such as QuickBooks or Peachtree &#8211; it could boost your computer skills section considerably.</p>
<p>I&#8217;d drop the employee of the month references &#8211; if it were &quot;employee of the month for 24 consecutive months&#8230;&quot; that might help but with only a couple references, it&#8217;s not helping at all.</p>
<p>You mention that Word, Excel, and Translation skill but don&#8217;t show us in your experience where you&#8217;ve used it.  Elaborate on that.  </p>
<p>Your specialization in the BA (write that as &quot;Bachelor of Arts in Psychology&quot; &#8211; no apostrophe there and no dash) doesn&#8217;t really matter here unless you&#8217;re applying for positions in client care, in that case your initial statement is wrong &#8211; it tells us you want to be an administrator.</p>
<p>Run this through spell-check and pay attention to where you&#8217;ve put some commas &#8211; they don&#8217;t all go where you have them.</p>
<p>It looks like you&#8217;re leaning into a career that will go into health administration or will stagnate as &quot;administrative assistant&quot; or &quot;secretary&quot;.  You might want to look into going back to school for an MHA (Master of Health Administration) or an MBA.  If you don&#8217;t have any supervisory experience (I don&#8217;t see any mentioned here) then get some.</p>
<p>Add:  I don&#8217;t agree that it looks like a professional resume writer wrote that &#8211; at least not a good one.  It has too many errors in it to be professional and doesn&#8217;t include the expected template-based &quot;buzz words&quot;.  The most glaring indicator that a professional didn&#8217;t write it is that the premises set forth in that paragraph are not supported in the body of the resume.  A secretary probably wrote this and not too bad of a secretary/admin asst.</p>
<p>HR people usually ignore that paragraph by the way &#8211; it&#8217;s always BS that says little more than &quot;I&#8217;d like a job please&quot;.  We jump straight into the meat of the resume and make our own conclusions.<br /><b>References : </b></p>
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